| Wow |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
I'm freaking the fuck out. I can't sleep....at all. I am going insane. I have been by myself for two days and I don't know what to do. I seriously think I am losing it...I keep feeling like me, but an extremely younger version of me. It feels just like it did when I was in middle school...gah, I don't even know how to describe it.
Absolutely nothing has gone right. I feel so alone. I'm so bored. I feel so damn anxious and I don't know why. I have never, ever, felt this way in my life.
My parents are driving me so fucking insane. I honestly don't feel like talking to them for a long...long time.
These past two days have been absolutely horrible. |
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| Live...journal? Rings a bell. |
[Feb. 5th, 2007|05:16 pm] |
This place is so dead. Yet...I'm still updating this? Amazing.
Well, first of all, I quit my job. I thought that little inkling of knowledge was necessary, due to the many "I hate my job" entries...it's only fair to let you all (more accurately, you none) know that I have expended my time at the hell hole they, who currently reside there, refer to it as "not that bad of a place to work, there's seriously worse." Well I showed them! Mother fuckers! Ha ha ha.
The last few stories about that place really do make me laugh every time I think about them...mainly because it shows how ridiculously stupid people are. I guess I've always known that the human race contains a brain made from the same substance of their fecal matter, however...wow...haha. I guess I'll tell you one, no?
So, God...when was it? I really want to say it was a Friday. Yeah, Friday sounds right. I must have had that day off or something because I was working in the morning. Anyway, that whole I had been having some gnarly ass stomach problems...basically the kind where whenever I would eat food it would feel like I was digesting glass (Have I really digested glass? No. Fuck you). Not the greatest of feelings. Well anyway, Friday it had gotten significantly bad about an hour into my door shift (a position which contains absolutely no work at all...however it's possible that those were the most boring times of my life), the whole "digesting glass" feeling came back, verge of throwing up, and to top it off...I was getting extreme chill. I ignored it for awhile...but, when I started almost falling from being in pain, I alerted a manager. The conversation went as such:
Note: This manager, we will call her "Amanda" (because that's her real fucking name and I hate her) had been an extraordinary whore to me ever since the first day I had met her. Anyway...
Me: Uhm, excuse me Amanda...I feel extremely ill and I think I need to go home.
Amanda: Oh really? Well...what's the matter.
Me:...uhm, well, it feels like I'm digesting glass...and well, frankly...I think I might vomit...any second now.
Amanda: (Annoyed look on face) Well the bathroom is right over there...
Me: (Pause) Uhm...no, I need to go home. You don't understand...I am in extreme fucking pain here.
Amanda: (SIGHS) Ah...fine, you can go home...but I need to take care of some stuff in concessions first...(walks away like a bitch)
Thirty minutes later...
Me: Yeah, when was I going home again?
Amanda:...ah...whatever, I guess you can go home now.
That ends MY convo with her. However, I learned from a co-worker (via MySpace, the bane of LiveJournal and all other internet communities) that Amanda was bitching about it all day saying I was faking. That fucking whore.
Oh well, she got what was coming. Three days later I called her from the hospital to tell her that I possibly had a disease and had a chance of going into a surgery. She almost cried.
Well...turns out I did have a disease...didn't have to go into surgery though! YAY! :D I won't say much more about my condition...only that it's Crohn's Disease and I have a "fairly" mild case of it. Starting to doubt that now though seeing as they're thinking of putting me on some hard-fucking-core steroids that will mess with you so bad that you will end up looking like Quasimodo...bah, fuck that. Anyway, 'nuff with that.
But now...now it's literally halfway through my Senior Year and I am as happy as I have been in a long time. Good things have happened, and I've let them happen...rather than being old "Jon Tanner" and avoiding good things (seemed to be a trend back in the day). It really gets old and depressing after awhile; it's quite unnecessary. Oh well, I guess it only took like a year and a half to figure that out. Not so long in the vast expansion of time. Lulz.
Speaking of old Jon Tanner, it really got me thinking last night; of how stupid I use to be. Not saying I am completely "moron-free," however the levels of idiotness have gone down quite tremendously. Most of my stupid rendezvous happened in middle school...and really...was that a good time for anyone? If it was, then chances are you're probably going to barely pass high school (but if middle school was horrible and you're still going to barely pass high school it just means you're a reckless self-serving asshole).
Oh well.
OH, and I was mainly updating this because I am bored and am avoiding doing some Comparative Government homework. |
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| Almost two months since... |
[May. 19th, 2006|10:37 pm] |
I said I was going to quit. Well, as anybody who knew me could tell...I haven't. No no no, not because I'm a "flaky" person, which is something I've come to accept over the year(s)...but a, well, lets call it a deal, my father made with me. He said that if I kept the job throughout the summer, then I wouldn't have to pay car insurance next year, and I didn't need to find a job. However, I also needed to spend a lot of time finding scholarships and blah blah blah. Ok, I'll look. Not promising anything. My brother got one out of talent AND luck...I could argue that I have luck, however I'm not quite sure about the talent. Plus, he got it through my mom's old company, but she has since moved and the new company does not offer any sort of scholarship deal. Worse comes to worse...male prostitute. I'm prepared.
Yes, work hasn't gotten any better. However, I have tried to weasle out of any days possible, not because I hate the job, but because I hate the customers (trust me, two ENTIRELY different things). I could argue that I dislike the management to an extent, but one, it really doesn't help my mood towards the company, however, two, it's really not the management. I actually feel somewhat sorry for them, that they have to come to the same place every day and work, a place that I have come to dispise within a very short amount of time. I would really hate to think what they feel about coming to the theater near every day. Dealing with the same (and I really mean the same) douche bag customers. This is one of the reasons that I am nice to EVERY person that I am ordering from at any sort of establishment. I can't stand douchey, ignorant, over-indugling customers. I'm always nice though, I'm never short with a customer. It's just common courtesy. I mean, if they are going to be fucking slobs (attitude wise) it really doesn't justify me being a dick to them...I mean, it's in their nature to do that.
Well I turned 17. W00t. Rated R movies...but i've been seeing those with ease for the past year anyway. But still...17. That's like...10 more than 7. And I remember being 7. I also remember being 10. WOW.
Some of my friends that I've been hanging out with are turning into different people. Not surprised really, I always knew it was a matter of time. However, I did enjoy my time with them when they were sober. Now they just get drunk just so they can say "Hey, Friday I was waaaaaasted. I didn't really have fun, but still...made a great story, right?" Alcohol should be an enhancer to situations that are dull and boring. They sometimes drink alone, which, as some people know, is a common sign of an alcoholic. I wouldn't say they're that, but still...
I'm bored. And now I'm bored with this. This is bad because I wrote in this because I wanted to be...uhm...not bored. It worked for awhile.
Now I'm done. |
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| Ima quit... |
[Mar. 26th, 2006|03:36 pm] |
Well i'm finally going to quit my job at Regal...I can't stand it anymore. It's probably one of the easiest jobs ever, but I cannot stand the people there; both the employees and the customers. Probably the customers more though...I just can't believe how fucking annoying they can be sometimes...most of the times this is how a conversations goes with them...
Me: Would you like to try one of our combos today? (I alteast say this 100 - 200 times a day when i work)
Them: (Extremely confused look on their face) UHhh...wait...uh, wha-what is a combo?
Me: It's on the big picture in front of you...that says combos...and combos is in big print.
Them: OH! Lemme see...$14.50 for a number 1?! That's outrageous! I'm not getting a combo...I'll just take a large popcorn and two medium drinks...
Me: That's a number 1...
Them: Oh... so it's $14.50?
Me: Yes...
Them: I remember back in my day--
Me: Don't care...what do you want for your drinks
Them: Oh God...lemme see one sec (what seems like 5 minutes later) I'll take a Pepsi
Me: We don't have Pepsi
Them: Well I want one..
Me: But...we don't have it
Them: Fine! I'll take a Dr. Pepper..
Me: We have Pibb...
Them: ARG! That's just not the same...fine I'll take two whatever Diets you have
Me: Ok...(I get their stuff) Ok that'll be 14.50
Them: OH and I also want two more additional small Pepsis
Me: You mean coke?
Them: Yeah whatever...
Me: (I get their drinks) Ok that'll be--
Them: OH and I'll take a skittles and an M&Ms..
Me: (Bend down to get their Candy) Anything else?
Them: Nope that'll do it...
Me: Ok that'll be--
Them: OH wait I also want a Gourmet Pretzle...
Me: ....Ok...it's going to be about a minute and a half to make...
Them: K...
Me: (I get them their preztle)Here's your preztle...did you want salt?
Them: Salt? I thought it was that cinnamon one right there?
Me: ....Uhm, no, that's the cinnabon pretz--
Them: Well I wanted that one...you guys should really label your stuff better
Me: Ok..one second...(get them their preztle...again)Here you go...your total comes to--
Them: OH shoot, one more thing, I need a nachos
Me: What size?
Them: (confused look again) Size?
Me: Yes, we have large or small
Them: (For some reason this is extemely difficult for them to understand) Uh...uh..oh God..uhm, jesus..Ok I'll take the large..
Me: Ok that'll be--
Them: Wait I also need a water!
Me: Did you want the large or small?
Them: Medium..
Me: We don't have medium...
Them: ..Fine...the uhm, large...NO SMALL...wait, no, large sorry.
Me: Ok here you are...and your total comes to (I wait for a second) $40..
Them: That's outrageous! Why, I remember back in my day--
Me: Don't care...give me the fucking money (except I really don't say that, I just want to, and am forced to listen to their story about how you could get all of that stuff for less thatn 50 cents back in their day)
So really, I have no problem with that actual work...I just cannot work at anyplace that deals with PEOPLE. So, in that case...no place at all.
PEACE |
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| Euphoria in tiredness |
[Mar. 2nd, 2006|05:18 am] |
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I'm really tired, yet I feel really...awesome? I dunno...almost feels like a high. |
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| The Dentist |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|08:42 pm] |
Forgot to add...
Went to the dentist today to get 3 fucking cavaties filled. Not my idea of a fun Valentines day...
Seriously, fucking gay. I wish there was like a magic wand you could wave, and all of your cavaties would go away, because Jesus fucking christ I hate needles. That's right, the shot that makes your face numb = teh suckage. I hate that feeling so much I just want to take any kind of needle and make it explode into a million pieces.
The dentist was cool though.
Off to do a TEDDY R. gist sheet. Thanks Professor Armstrong. :) |
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| Lighter Side of the Year |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|08:30 pm] |
We're starting to get close to spring. Not really too close, but it's beginning to stay lighter later....
I had a post earlier in the school year about me looking forward to winter. Looking back on it, probably the worst fall/winter I've had in high school. It sucked. Balls.
But that's gone and done. Looking forward to not being in school soon.
wewt. |
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| School is balls. |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|06:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
Man, I've never felt this way about school before. I mean, I guess i've always not looked forward to going...but now I just loathe the thought of going to school. Ever day is the same. The same fucking day over and over again. It doesn't change....and I swear to God no matter how hard I try to pay attention in class, it just doesn't happen. I try to get enough sleep...but nope, always tired. Seven hours is enough for me to normally function on, by the way. Perhaps this is senioritis? Don't know...but I can't stand school anymore.
Also found out my brother has another hernia...which is bullshit, because it ruins his entire spring break. He has to wait until spring break to get the surgery, then he has to fucking recover from it the rest of the break...this is shit that he just doens't need right now.
Grades are shitty for my standard. Always try to do better, but I have absoltuely no motivation. I was depending on my AP tests this spring to make me "look good," but seeing as my AP English teacher has the intelligence of a Elementary school teacher, things are not looking good. I already know that Armstrong doens't "teach to the test," and I have mixed feelings about my AP Bio test. I also have to take the SATs this spring if I even want to have a chance of getting into my college of choice...
I just need a rest...like...3 months of it.
Kind of wish I never started playing World of Warcraft. The game consumes your soul and will not let go. I've never gotten addicted to drugs, but I'm guessing this is a very similar feeling. It's all I think about when I'm at school...basically it's all I think about when I'm not playing the fucking game. In march it ends and i'll likely never play that game again. |
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| I hate doing....stuff |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|01:34 am] |
I want everything handed to me on a silver fuckiing platter. I wouldn't care that I didn't have to work for it. There's nothing wrong with that? Is there? No.
GIVE ME WHAT I WANT GOD DAMMIT!!!
So stuff has gone down, but I don't want to put it in here. I don't need to.
Also, I've decided to convert to Christianity. I love Jesus...God...and...HAHAHA Just kidding. I'm not a Christian. I'm Atheist...no agnostic crap anymore. There is no God, no spiritual being, no higher hand that has a say in this world. You know what's funny though? I'm still afriad of 3AM. |
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| Math. |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|08:38 pm] |
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Math is a homosexual subject in school. It likes other male subjects. |
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| Zee Countries |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|06:04 pm] |
Countries that I would like to go to (no specific order):
England
Japan
Ireland
France
Germany
Holland
Iceland
Italy
Greece
N. Korea
Australia
Make your own list! |
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| Fun day!!!!! |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|09:56 pm] |
This was a boring day.
I went to school.
I ate liquorice altoids...they were interesting.
I slept.
I wanted to punch a wall, but there was no free wall space for me to punch.
I laughed at a box.
I want the weekend to come now! |
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| Christmas is but 20 days! |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|08:40 pm] |
Christmas is in 20 days, and I'm pretty excited...I guess. I wish I was more excited though. I use to get extremely worked up about Christmas when I was ages 2 - 13...but after that it just seemed "bleh." Don't know why, but I guess you have to grow out of everything sometime.
Anyway, I'm sick of homework. I rarely learn stuff from doing homework. I learn SO much more just listening to teachers talk...and taking notes...it's just so much easier. I'm also tired of obsessively smart people, such as Kunal (to which I'm assuming everyone knows). That kid is so sheltered...he is limited to 30 minutes (or less) of television a day, and he has told me that most of the other time he spends doing homework and studying (not for tests...but for the sake of knowledge). Not that that is bad by any means...but it's somewhat sad. Here, Kunal, will grow up to be damn filthy rich, however I don't believe he'll be happy. Perhaps he'll get tired of the money and give it to me?
On a seperate thought...the human race is obsessed with analysis. I hate analyzing...not because I don't enjoy doing it, but feel that whatever I am analyzing wasn't meant to be analyzed in the first place. |
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| One month no see |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|08:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
I cant believe it's been a month since "The Worst Week of Junior Year." God that week sucked.
I haven't accomplished anything in that matter of time, however...unless you count work, techno songs, and WoW as accomplishments. Oh well, it's not like I tried to do anything anyway.
Went to the dentist today. Fun? No. As bad as I thought? No again.
I fucking hate when they talk to you when they're working in your mouth...makes you feel like a dumbass just respoding by going "ahhh," or "ahheaah?"
Jesus.
Well, i'm writing an essay right now, and I thought it necesarry to update this thing...just for fun. I really don't like doing it, but I guess it's fun going back and reading them to see what I was doing on that
day.
On a lighter note, I have no life. WoW has taken up the small void of a social life I once had...but it's just too damn addicting. I, once again, don't care...seeing as I'm Jon Tanner.
I have to say, however, that this year is not as great as I thought it would be. It's not bad, by any means...just not as great. Nothing exciting seems to be happening to me, or to anyone else for that matter. My life stays at a constant bore and it seems to keep getting more and more boring. I have nothing to look forward to but getting home from school, long weekends, and visits from my brother.
Meh. Can't complain. |
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| So I kind of feel like sleeping. |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|11:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Fucking Pissed. | ] |
This whole week sucked.
Every single day seemed to be getting worse and worse and worse.
People have just been pissing me off so much lately it's rediculous...I just feel like mauling somebody right now with a mace. Or my fists. I don't care. Good thing there's no school tomorrow....
Lately everyone, except a select few, have been acting like complete and utter fuck faces towards me. I literally would enjoy nothing more than to take the assholes by the hair and smash their face into a solid wall untill their face is no longer recognizable.
I think..I THINK, I know why this week has sucked though. My grandparents are here...and I swear to God it feels like I'm walking on egg shells...because one false move and you just set off their "I'm an old grumpy asshole" alarm and all hell breaks loose. You have no idea how fake I've been acting towards them lately...I'm guessing that's why I feel like I'm on edge...
Monday my parents come back and all can, nay...WILL, go back to normal.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I got my third iPod yesterday. Too bad I couldn't put any songs on it because I had homework. Hopefully this one doesn't break. And if it does, so help me God, I will unleash a whirlwind of fury on Apple. |
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| Last Nite |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|08:00 pm] |
Last night was extremely strange...
Let me explain...
I was very tired (on account of running that morning) and decided to go to sleep around 11:20...something that is very strange for me because I like to stay up somewhat late. Anyway, I dozed off, and started having this weird dream...
I am in my room, watching a Disney movie (can't remember the name, but it's where these two Spanish guys go to that Golden City in South America). Why am I watching this movie? I have no idea. As I am watching it, the volume grows louder and louder, and I go to turn it down, but when I go to turn it down...my lights go off. I can't see shit. So I try to turn on my light by this rope that's suddenly hanging down from my ceiling. Apparently that does that turns it back on...but when I turned my lights back on, I see something in the room adjacent to mine. I scream. Like a bitch. (Note: When I woke up, I didn't think it was a dream until a few moments of coming back to my senses...that's how much I thought it was real)
Anyway, after I come back to my senses, I feel some sort of present in my room...I can't describe how I felt it, just felt a presence of something. All of the sudden, I can't move...can't talk...can't do anything. I felt a WEIRD feeling, really weird, and this happened for about 15 seconds.
Weird, huh? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|09:40 pm] |
I remember watching a VH1 tribute for Notorius B.I.G (nothing else was on, shut the fuck up), and when I saw it, I remember thinking "Wow, what a nice, fat guy."
Then read some of his lyrics....
Perhaps it's better that he's dead.... |
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| So my iPod broke..for the second time... |
[Oct. 16th, 2005|07:29 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "Tanner Bells" Jon Tanner | ] |
I hate Apple.
I'm not going into detail about HOW it broke...again...but know this..
Like last time, I have no idea how, or why it broke.
All I know is that I purely loathe Apple and they're fucking software. |
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| AD |
[Oct. 15th, 2005|01:49 am] |
Arrested Development.
God I love that show. It's one of the top five greatest TV shows (sitcom?) ever.
Also, I'm having to take cold medicine again. I know that it's suppose to make you drousy, but I never remember it making me this tired. I'm literally unfunctionable...'tis crazy. It was cool though, because I took the medicine right before I went to sleep (nasal problems, couldn't breathe and whatnot), and as I was laying down trying to sleep, I could feel like this wave come over my body, starting from my back and then moved to my head...and when it moved to my head I could breathe again.
I don't know about you, but I thought it was pretty cool. |
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| People are fucking nuts today. |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|08:03 pm] |
Today is very weird. Very weird indeed.
I swear to God, this is the weirdest day i've have in a LONG time.
Not personal issues between people, no...just...ahg, strange weird people everywhere today. |
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